The Starry Sky

Looking at the starry sky through my window;
I thought it was so beautiful.
Until the day, when I saw the entire night sky;
Without my limiting window frame.

I felt foolish to have restricted my sky;
To the size of my window frame.
I felt cheated to have felt happy;
About the limited vision that I had.

But then I thought about what actually mattered;
Is it the momentary truth or the absolute truth!
In that case, what is absolute truth;
Is the night sky actually as it appears to me!

I sought out to find an answer;
Asked many people to describe the sky above.
Each one had a different version to talk about;
None of them matched with what I had in my mind.

Is there no absolute truth then;
If it is all so person specific and time bound.
What are we actually seeking for;
Who will show us the real picture?

As I close my eyes and think about it,
I see the same starry sky within me.
Is it a reflection of the space above;
Or is it the other way round?

The dilemma continues,
So do the questions.
My mind learns to settle down,
And continues to look within.


An Inward Journey: Relocation

We don’t have to wait for a physical relocation to start afresh. A lot can happen within.

An Inward Journey: Journal Series- Introduction.

An Inward Journey: Journal Series- HE is Everywhere!

An Inward Journey: Letting Go.

An Inward Journey: Thank You.

The day had finally arrived. She had to check a couple of more items in her list and then leave. The preparations had started long back. Three years to be exact. She first visited that place with a guide and thoroughly enjoyed her stay there. It seemed like the perfect location for her to spend the rest of her life. 

Even though the decision was taken, implementation was not as easy as she thought it would be. She knew she had to empty her old place. When she started pulling out things, she was taken aback by the sheer volume of things she had accumulated over the years. She decided to throw all of them away. Memories and attachment are not easy to let go. She had to literally pull some them away from her own hands and throw it.

It did hurt. She even decided to give up the plan. She came under the influence of the “known devil syndrome” . Dreams of her new life started getting replaced with nightmares of not being able to fit in. The new terrains and surroundings which seemed so welcoming earlier slowly wore the face of unknown lonely places.

She shook all of that away as mere anxiety and went ahead with her plans. She kept herself busy by reading more about the place and getting as familiar to it as she could.

The last item to be ticked in the list was to lock all the windows and doors of the old place and throw away the key.

The old place that she lived in was filled with anxiety, worry, fear, envy,  greed, guilt, frustration, hate, anger etc. The walls seemed unbreakable and the gloomy environment made her unhappy. The bouts of happiness that material luxury brought was unfulfilling. She knew she had to move out.

She held on to all these emotions while she lived there. She wanted to lock it and relocate into a space that had love, empathy and hope at its core.

Her quest started when she met a guide along her path. He showed her this new place. This place had a sweet aroma. The air and water tasted sweet. Her body shook with excitement during her visit there. It had a lot of intersecting roads. All roads led to a single point which was an extremely beautiful horizon. The guide showed her around and asked her to choose the path she wanted to take. She decided to take the path where she could freely move around without fear or restrictions.

Her first visit did not last long. She had to get back soon. But then she knew that meeting the guide and visiting that beautiful place was not an accident. She knew she belonged there. And so she waited for three long years to wrap up everything and relocate.

As she locked all the doors and tossed the key in the air, she looked as radiant and vibrant as the horizon where all those roads submerged.

We don’t have to wait for a physical relocation to start afresh. A lot can happen within!



An Inward Journey: Thank You.

I recently asked my seven (well, almost eight) year old,” So, tell me what is the first word that comes to your mind when you are actually living your dream? ”

He has always and always wanted to join a particular sport coaching. And I recently enrolled him for one.  On the second day of that sport coaching, I asked him this question.

His reply was quick ” Thank You God!”

Today, I had a similar experience. I was in the middle of my work and when I paused for a while, I suddenly realised in that moment that I was actually living my dream too. And with that realisation, I felt so overwhelmed with emotion that I felt as if I was just dissolving into everything around me. I am not sure if words can actually describe that feeling. But, I just ceased to exist as a separate entity and the only word that came out of me was “Thank You God!”.

I don’t know if that’s what my little boy experienced , but those were the exact words that came out of him too. “Thank You God! ”

No wonder every civilization ( structured and unstructured) has given a lot of importance to the concept of “gratitude”. Means to show gratitude varies from region to region. Gratitude has and always will be the easiest form of divine connect.

I have always loved to go through the Acknowledgement page of the book that I am reading. There, the author’s language and expression has a different texture. No matter what the story of the books is, the acknowledgement has a very humble and positive energy to it.

Similarly with the person who proposes the vote of thanks at a function. It is usually not the most aggressive talker but someone who can say ‘Thank You’ in plain simple words and actually mean it.

“Thank You” is a magical word indeed and no matter whom you say that to, mean it when you say it. When said to the divine, it fills us with a positive energy and when said to another fellow being, it brushes aside all differences and creates a wonderful connect between the two people.

May all of us be able to experience the divine connection and bliss through gratitude.



The Best Me.

I don’t know how long I lay inside the earth;
Waiting for a chance to see some light.
Then one day that miracle happened ;
A bright ray touched me and held me tight.

I knew it was time for me to come out;
To breath some air and feel refreshed.
The first sight of the blue sky filled my heart;
With a desire to soar up high.

I was well aware of the changes happening within;
The small shoots and the strong roots all growing fine.
I could feel this all the while;
But my eyes wouldn’t move from the sky

I knew I had to reach there;
That is where I thought I belonged.
The blue sky, the white clouds;
They were all waiting for my advent.

As time passed , I noticed the difference;
Everything that flew had wings ;
I looked down and saw my firm roots;
I started to wonder if I could ever reach there.

I still told myself that’s where I belonged;
Amidst the heights that my eyes could behold.
I grew and I flourished with fruits and flowers;
I was frequented by animals and birds alike.

Then one day a miracle happened again;
I felt the coolness and the softness rubbing on me.
I  saw the white fluffy clouds;
It was actually passing right through me.

I had roots and so couldn’t fly;
But I never stopped looking up.
I grew to the best of what I could;
I could almost touch the sky.


PC: My daughter.

Leave That Wood Alone!

If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely. If we understood the awesome power of our words, we would prefer silence to almost anything negative. In our thoughts and words, we create our own weaknesses and our own strengths. Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts. We can always replace negative with positive.” -Betty Eadie

I have been reading a lot about the power of words. The words we use are actually a reflection of how we feel from within. There are programs that use the power of language to combat stress, anger and depression.

With all these thoughts fresh in my mind space, I attended a get together of some good old friends. There, I noticed something very strange. Each sentence ended with a particular phrase. I became aware of it first when I myself used it and then, that phrase is all I could hear.

“I am loving my job. Touch wood. ”

“I am feeling really fit and am aiming a half marathon by next year. Touch wood.”

“My daughter is really good in academics. Touch Wood.”

“I still love my husband. Touch Wood.”

“You are looking fab in the little black dress. Touch Wood.”

“Your son is a very good mannered boy. Touch wood.”

The phrase was used generously not only when we spoke about ourselves, but when we spoke about others too. ( Others in the room only!)

According to Aunt Google, the phrase derives from the pagan belief that malevolent spirits inhabited the wood, and if you expressed a hope for the future you should touch, or knock on, wood to prevent the spirits from hearing and presumably preventing your hopes from coming true.

When I got back from the party, I tried to analyze it a little further. If our words symbolize a certain belief, what could that be?

Possibility No.1:
We still believe there are evil spirits living in those trees far away that are eves dropping on our conversation and trying to prevent our good fortune from coming true.

Possibility No. 2 :
We think those spirits have shifted base from the trees into the wooden furniture around.

Possibility No. 3:
We see those evil spirits in the people seated around us.

I ruled out possibility No.1 because in some cases the trees are so far away that even if the spirits had excellent hearing aids, they would not be able to hear the conversation. Possibility No.2 also seemed like a remote chance because the carpenters would have knocked the wood so many times to make it into a piece of furniture that the spirits would have been driven away. I was only left with possibility No.3 and I could not find reasons to negate it. I was very uncomfortable accepting it though.

I went back to the good old childhood days with similar gang of girls. Our conversations usually were:

“You are looking so smart in that dress. Wow! I want a similar one. ”

“I am gonna become an astronaut when I grow bigger. What about you?”

“I have fallen in love. It is a wonderful feeling. I wish you find someone soon.”

“How can you write so well! I envy your writing skills.”

The obvious difference in the conversations then and now, being the way our feelings were expressed.  If I liked your dress, I would say I want one like it. If I wanted to write like you, I would say that I am envious of your writing skills. When I felt really good about something, I would wish you the same.

The touch/knock woods have made every other emotion is my statement secondary. The obvious, loud and clear emotion/feeling present being fear and vulnerability.

I came across another interesting article about the origin of “touch/knock wood”. It said : The other origin they suggest is that some of these tree worshippers laid their hands on a tree when asking for favor from the spirits/gods that lived inside it, or did it after a run of good luck as a show of gratitude to the supernatural powers.

My conclusion from this entire experience is to use the phrase ( If I do ) as an expression of gratitude and not because I think the other person (or that bad spirit that has shifted base into him/her) can prevent me from some good luck that in store for me.

Don’t Mess With My Life.

“How are you? ” asked a feeble voice from the other end.

“I am barely alive” She replied.

“What do you mean?”. He asked.

“I breathe. I exist. That’s all I can say”. She said, almost breaking down.

“I am sorry I am not able to locate you. I am sorry I can’t be with you at this time. I am still trying. I really want to be there”. He said.

” I can understand. I know you would have been here if you could. ” She said sobbing.

There was silence. He cleared his throat (and thoughts) and spoke to break that awkward pause.

“You know that we are the longest living species on the planet, don’t you?” He said from the other end.

“Yes I do.” She started laughing and that made all the tears in her eyes pour out in a hurry.

He did this all the time.He tweaked his questions to ensure that the answer would be an “I do”.  That was like a reminder to both of them of the wedding wows that they had taken 105 years ago.

They were happy and just married then. They swam all over the pacific together. LIfe was all about finding some food, swimming and laying eggs. They visited the beaches or the shallow regions only during nesting seasons. SInce they did not have a tradition of returning to the nest after the eggs are laid, they would resume their journey as soon as the nesting season was over.

Unlike others in their species, they never went looking for other partners. They stuck to each other until this recent incident.

It was almost a week since they had seen each other. She was entangled in an ocean of debris within the ocean, not able to move. They had visited this part of the ocean so many times in the first half of their life. It used to be  beautiful green waters in that part of their habitat. She wanted to swim in those waters once more.

Swimming in the deep, they were unaware of  the kind of exponential growth that was happening on the remaining 30% of earth (the land). The way the supposedly most evolved species on earth was prospering and achieving many heights was not known to them. They had no clue that the entire living species was bearing the brunt of the unmanaged exploitation of every resource on earth.

He tried frantically to locate her. She had entangled herself in the huge mass of debris that was thrown into the ocean by a passing ship. The noise from the ship resulted in the two of them losing contact and once the ship was gone, there was so much of floating objets all around. Finally, when they could hear each other, they just could not locate the other. In an effort to come out of the junk, she completely got entangled. What she did not know was that he was also dying due to some of the strange zooplankton like objects which he had eaten( The remains of plastic that was dumped into the ocean a decade ago which resembles zooplankton) .

Both of them took their last breath thinking of the good times that they had spent together. The only regret they had was that in spite of spending more than a century with each other, they had to die apart.

The End.

I saw both the sea turtles rise up into the sky. They looked at me and said:

“This is how our lives ended. We sure did not deserve this tragic end. Nor does any of our fellow inhabitants. We urge you to be mindful of your actions and take the necessary steps required. Today, it was us. Tomorrow, it is gonna be YOU. ”

I did not know what to do. I stared into their eyes which were still full of life. I asked them with teary eyes , ” How can I help you ? ” .

They looked at me one last time with their piercing eyes and said ” Be mindful of your actions. Minimize your contribution to the mess. Tell people about our story.  We have all the right to live here and die a natural death. It is our life , don’t mess with it. ”

They disappeared and I was woken up by my morning alarm with the responsibility of telling people their story!

That Someone.

Even when you are in a crowd, it is only that “someone” who can cheer you up.

Whenever I thought I was alone,
Someone caught up.
Holding hands, Patting shoulder;
Listening to me and chatting with me.

Whenever I thought I was lost,
Someone showed up.
With the indicator, leading the way;
Guiding me and lighting up the place.

Whenever I thought I was in pain,
Someone came to me.
Wiping my tears, asking me to smile;
Reminding me of good times and cheering me up.

That “someone” has come and gone so many times,
It all happens before I can gather myself up ;
To ask his name or where he lived
Because that “someone” left as soon as I was fine.

I have often looked around,
To catch a glimpse of that “someone”.
I never found anyone near or far.
Until one day when I saw my own reflection.

I have often run around the place,
Screaming out loud for that “someone”.
Hoping my voice reached those ears,
Until one day when I heard my own echo.

My reflection looked like that person,
Who had lent me a shoulder and held my hands.
My echo sounded like that voice,
Which had talked to me and comforted me.

It was my inner strength which always consoled me.
It was my inner light that always showed me the way.
It was my inner voice that always transformed me.
It was me myself who always showed up for me.